We have all received invitations to an event - whether a business or social function - but how many of us have had to host and plan an event ourselves? For those that have organized and pulled off an event, don't you find that you also become a better guest at future events that you're invited to?
In our fast-paced world, it seems that a lot of event etiquette has unfortunately gone right out the window. So, let's get back to basics and save all of our friends and family some headaches!
1. When do I RSVP?
I had a recent bride lament to me that "RSVPing has become a lost art." When you receive an invitation, it is customary to respond within one week of receiving the invitation. Weddings sometimes require more time to figure out travel arrangements, but a RSVP should be sent as soon as possible. Most invitations also give a deadline of when the RSVP is needed. That deadline is there for a reason and it is not set at the whim of the person organizing. Many other major decisions for the event rely on the number of people attending; and, if you do not respond in time, then you are putting all of those decisions behind for the person planning.
2. When should I arrive?
For most events, it is polite to arrive on time. For wedding ceremonies, plan to arrive 15-20 minutes early since the processional is usually planned to begin at the time on the invitation. For a lot of corporate social events, there is typically an hour of hors d'oeuvres planned, so arrival anytime within the first 30 minutes is acceptable. For meetings and seminars, plan to arrive early so that you have time to register, grab a drink (or bite to eat if provided), and get settled before the meeting starts.
3. What should I wear?
A lot of invitations will specifiy attire. If in doubt, you can always call the host and ask. If anything, err on the side of conservative sensibility and always look well put together (no wrinkles!). Here are common attire descriptions:
- Business attire: suits and dresses
- Black Tie/Black Tie optional: more formal evening wear
- Business casual: Trousers/khakis with collared shirt for men; trousers/khakis or more casual skirts for ladies, sweater sets acceptable for ladies
4. What should you talk about - and what SHOULDN'T you talk about?
It is important to have strong listening and conversational skills in a group situation, especially if you are sitting with people you do not know. The most important thing to remember is DON'T INTERUPT! Ask questions, maintain good eye contact with the person speaking (don't scan the room as they are talking), and show interest in what they have to say. They will do the same for you. At a business gathering, it is important to avoid topics that could make the conversation uncomfortable. Subjects like politics, religion, personal finance issues, personal health issues, and gossip are usually considered inappropriate. Avoid slang and foul language. At social gatherings, just use good judgement. Nobody wants to be that person that everyone is telling stories about the next day.
These are just a few pointers to remind everyone that being a courteous guest is important. The better guest you are, the more fabulous events you will be invited to!
